English: where half the letters are decorative, and the other half lie to your face.
The Traditional Rule:
English spelling reflects pronunciation. Letters on the page match the sounds from your mouth.
Why It’s Broken:
Because English is the Frankenstein monster of languages — stitched together with Latin, Greek, French, Norse, Saxon, and sheer nonsense. We have silent letters, invisible sounds, historical remnants, and phonetic hallucinations. The spelling of a word often has zero correlation with how it’s pronounced.
Absurdities and Contradictions:
Silent letters:
Knife, knock, knight, know → What’s the “k” doing? Lurking.
Write, wrist, wring → Silent “w” because… tradition?
Honest, hour, heir → Goodbye “h.” But hello “haitch” debates.
Gnome, gnash, gnat → Silent “g” because English is allergic to logic.
Salmon → The “l” goes on vacation.
Phonetic lies:
Colonel → Pronounced “kernel.” Spelled like a Napoleonic headache.
Yacht → Sounds nothing like it looks. Why the “ch”?
Choir → Not “choy-er,” not “co-yer.” It’s “quire.” Okay.
Depot → Don’t pronounce the “t.” Unless you want to sound like a depot.
Subtle → The “b” is camouflaged.
Wednesday → We say “Wensday.” Spellcheck says “good luck.”
Letter combos with inconsistent sounds:
“ough” → Tough (uff), Though (oh), Through (oo), Thought (aw), Plough (ow), Cough (off). Six pronunciations. Same four letters.
“gh” → Sometimes silent (high), sometimes “f” (enough), sometimes “guh” (ghost, from a mistaken Dutch import).
British vs. American Variants:
Brits say “a herb” (they pronounce the “h”). Americans say “an herb” (they don’t).
Brits say “haitch.” Americans say “aitch.” Brits mock “haitch,” and vice versa.
Aluminium (UK) vs. Aluminum (US) — and yes, they are spelled and pronounced differently.
Route (US: “rowt” or “root”) vs. Route (UK: almost always “root”).
Real-World Speech vs. Spelling:
“Would’ve” → Spelled correctly, but misheard and misspelled as “would of.”
“Supposedly” → Often said “supposably.”
“Mischievous” → People say “miss-chee-vee-us” even though it’s spelled with no extra “i.”
The Reform Proposal:
Identify and phase out silent letters from standardized spelling.
Regularize letter-to-sound patterns: one spelling, one pronunciation.
Allow regional pronunciation but reform official spellings to reflect actual sounds.
Accept that spoken English evolves faster than spelling — so spelling must catch up.
How It Would Work in Practice:
“Knight” becomes “Nite.”
“Subtle” becomes “Sutl.”
“Colonel” becomes “Kernal.”
“Yacht” becomes “Yot.”
“Enough” becomes “Enuf.”
“Through” becomes “Thru.”
Final Word: Sound It Like You Mean It.
If the point of language is communication, then spelling should follow speech — not the ghosts of long-dead etymologies. Let’s make English less of a guessing game and more of a phonetic pleasure. If a child can spell it the way they say it, that’s not a mistake — that’s a sign the system works.